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Fear Of Relationships?!
By Joi Sigers, Sat Dec 10th
Snakes, elevators, sharks, death, spiders, darkness, mice,relationships.... Relationships??? To some, its presence amongst the heavyweightsof fear may seem out of place. But to many people who sufferfrom relationship anxiety, it's the others that seem out ofplace. Everyone has his or her own personal fears and it reallydoesn't matter if anyone completely understands or not. As acat-lover I can't even begin to relate to having a fear of cats,but that doesn't make it any less "real" for someone who has afeline phobia. Personally, I am incredibly afraid of - to the point ofbeing irrational. I can't even look at a rubber snake.Seriously. I've never been bitten by one, never even beenapproached by one. Yet, the number one fear in my life issnakes. Why?! Part of the problem is I'm unsure of how I'dreact. Would I scream, run, freak right out, faint, or acombination of the four? There's very little doubt in my mindthat I'd handle the situation about as poorly as it could behandled.
Now, what if I actually (in a protected environment) got upclose and personal with one of these things? What if I readarticles by experts on and accumulated all theinformation and advice on their behaviors. If this particularfear interfered with my life, these are the sort of things Iwould expose myself to. As it is, I go my way and "they" gotheirs! Not all fears are as easy to dismiss. For example, the fear ofrelationships is one that must be dealt with, as the "you goyour way and I'll go mine" approach just leaves everyone lonely. I believe that this fear also stems more from
a fear of selfthan anything else. "Will I say the wrong thing?", "Will I begood enough for them?" "Am I attractive enough?" "What do I say,for crying out loud?!" There is so much potential for things togo wrong that it's a wonder any of us bother to get involvedwith anyone in the first place. I think the first step to take in dealing with relationshipanxiety is to start with yourself. If there are things about youthat you don't like, begin working on them. Do you feel overweight? Begin exercising, daily. Cut outfries, sweets, soft drinks and cut back on red meats and breads. Are you self conscious about your appearance? Trysomething new with your hair, buy a new shade of make-up, grab ahot new top in a flattering color - do something that makes youmore at ease in your own company. Are you afraid you won't know what to say? Read more,broaden your horizons - you'll have more topics to choose from.If you know of any particular interests that a certain someonehas, by all means - brush up on that! When you begin to like yourself more, you'll feel worthy ofaffection and attention. Instead of worrying that you won't begood enough for them, you'll find yourself hoping they're goodenough for you! (c)2005, The Mental Fitness Center. About the author:Feel free to use the above article on your own website or blog.All we ask is that you leave this paragraph intact and the linksactive. Thanks! The Mental FitnessCenter and Out ofBounds (our blog) are dedicated to providing our visitorswith information, news, and tips that will help them get thebest life has to offer.
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